KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Throwing a party is a lot of work, so it’s a real disappointment when somebody you invited ruins it. Here’s 8 types of people to watch out for before you make your next invite list.
8. Person Who Insists On Cleaning Up Your Party While It’s Still Going On
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Right in front of you, asking if your drink is finished. Or, methodically moving through the party with a white trash bag and a look on their face as if they’ve been hunting Osama Bin laden for the last 6 years and have narrowed down his whereabouts to somewhere in this party.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Drinking a beer, much like sex, is far less enjoyable when someone is asking you if you’re finished every five minutes. It’s great that they want to help you clean up, but if you’ve decided to have a party, you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that when it’s over, your house is going to probably look like the bathroom that Cary Elwes and Danny Glover woke up in, in the first Saw movie. I wonder if these people also decide to wipe their a$$ in the middle of taking a shiit, just to “cut down on the work that has to be done when it’s all over!”
7. GUY WHO GETS WASTED IN THE FIRST HOUR
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: Right by the fridge, bro, cause that’s where all the beer is!
HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: From the moment this guy shows up, everything he says has an exclamation point at the end of it. “This party rules, dude!” “I am ready to party TO-night!” “Let’s shotgun these, bro!” “Tits!” Then, one hour and 13 beers later this guy is incoherent, weaving on his feet and saying stuff like “Paartyyyygjlskdvm…” So, instead of kicking back and hanging out with your friends, you have to spend the rest of the night making sure he doesn’t puke on your couch, piss in your plants or crap on your coffee table.
6. Person Who Only Knows You
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: About two feet to the right of you, standing silently, staring at either you or the person you’re talking to.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: You invited them because during the four and a half minutes a day you talk to them at work, they seem pretty cool and/or really enjoy the impression you do of a fellow coworker. Except as soon as they get to your party, they tense up like Alex Rodriguez’s a$-$hole during a game in October. You have two options at this point, 1) entertain them and include them in every conversation you have the entire night, like they’re your wife or husband even though you probably don’t know their last name, or 2) leave them on their own which leads to them standing in a corner by themselves, staring at you, causing your friends to ask you “I think that dude in the corner is planning on raping you.”
5. GIRL WHO STARTS CRYING
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: About two feet to the right of you, standing silently, staring at either you or the person you’re talking to.
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HER: She’s usually holed up in the bathroom (taking up valuable toilet space) with three of her bestest girlfriends—all three of whom are overweight.
HOW SHE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: The worst part is that this girl isn’t crying because her parents just died or she lost a limb. She’s sobbing into a fistful of tissues because she always needs to be the center of attention. If everyone’s not focused on her and all her problems, she just starts crying louder about her job or some lame guy who won’t date her or how fat her friends are. This means you either sit there and let her bring down the vibe of your party or you take her outside and listen to her whine about absolutely nothing. If possible, pair her up with the super wasted guy. She’ll think he’s listening and he’ll think he’s going to score.
4. Person Who Just Got Dumped By Their Girlfriend/Boyfriend
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: In any corner where they were able to trap and force someone to listen to them talk about how they “don’t know what happened,” and how it “seemed like things were fine and then all of a sudden she just said that she thought that we were different people now. What does that even mean? Do you know, because I sure as fucc don’t! I just miss her so much. My name’s Brian by the way.”
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: If I wanted people to get depressed as fucc at my party, I’d screen a copy of Schlindler’s list. The problem with these people is, they don’t care who they talk to, and no excuse you give will stop them from talking to you. “Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom,” “No worries, I’ll just wait for you until your done, unlike my EX girlfriend, who wouldn’t wait no matter HOW important it was to go to the bathroom and would just leave you with NOTHING while you were in there.”
3. Creepy Dude Who Tries To Bang Chicks At The Very End Of The Party
WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Towards the end of the party, he’ll be wherever he hears the words “I can’t believe my friends left without me, they were my ride!” or “I’m so (hiccup) fucced up (hiccup) I gotta lay down or something.”
WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: There’s a reason why this dude waits till the end of the party to try and score; he’s way too fuccing creepy to do so when someone isn’t in some sort of desperate situation. Thus, although he’s there because he’s either family, a neighbor, or someone else invited him, you now have to hope to God he doesn’t take advantage of someone at your party, otherwise your party will not be remembered as “That Fourth of July Party at Bill’s house,” and instead be remembered as “that party at Bill’s house where that creepy guy tried to fingerbang Michele while she was puking.”
2. Couple Who Brings Their Baby
COUPLE WHO BRING THEIR BABY: Off to the side, on their knees, pleading with a 6 month old child to stop screaming or right next to you, asking you where he can dispose of a shiit filled diaper.
WHY THEY WILL RUIN THEIR PARTY: Nothing says party like the sound of a screaming child and the stench of talcum powder and baby diarrhea! If there was a dude puking, shiiiitting and crying at your party, would you be cool with that? No, you’d either be like “Who the fucc brought this guy?” But if you say that about a baby suddenly that makes you an a$$hhhole. Meanwhile, the party sucks becase everyone is being super cautious and attentive to the baby, as if the other 99% of the time that they’re not there the baby is barely eluding death due to unsupervision.
1. THE POLITICS GUY
WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: At the beginning of the night he usually stands right next to the front door where he overtly shows off his political button or T-shirt that says something like “Once You Go Barack, You Won’t Go Back” or “McCain = McStupid.” Then, after everyone shows up, he stealthily mingles from group to group while nonchalantly dropping lines like “Did you see what those fatcats tried to pull?” anytime there’s a lull in the conversation.
HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: No one in the history of parties has ever changed their political beliefs based on some a$$hhhole screaming about health care reform in the kitchen of a two bedroom apartment. His endlessly tiresome factoids and statistics about how much oil we consume and how the death penalty doesn’t work will make your guests either leave or kill themselves where they stand.
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TEAM D.A.B (Dirty ass bats) "I dont know what that means i just joined cause they seemed cool until i got cut." |
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #2 |
I added on to it, the person who no matter how "good" the party is will say it sucks and try to influence their friends to share that same sentiment...and constantly complains throughout the whole party, but instead of leaving they stay because they really have NOTHING better to do....
Cough***PRICK***Cough
Or the person who is just there to look for trouble(to fight) and not actually have a goodtime..and will often time leave someone at the party like this..
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #3 |
that homeless dude just sittin across the park waiting to rush the cans and bottles after everyone leaves is cool in my book.
but i cant stand nosy ass white people that just stare at your party like they cant believe their fuccin eyes, then 5 minutes later the Santa Ana PD show up.
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #4 |
what about....
That guy?
Has to be the center of attention for at least a few brief moments, missguidedly overconfidant, hits on chicks you are talking to and when they blow him off cuz he is being that guy he turns to you pats you on the back and says, these biiitches are lame.
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #5 |
how about the chick that tries to fucc everyone at the party. after awhile 2 guys who both thought she was serious get in an arguement calling eachother cok blocks which leads to a fight (Sal & Pebbles)
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #6 |
i hate them mufucas that go to parties in that UFC-tapout fight gear shiit n act hard like they realy in UFC (Pooh Berry) with ther chest all puffd up like somebody gonna be scared n when there drunk they act like they gonna KO sumone but end up gettin smashed on.
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #7 |
What about the overly emotional dude that hugs everybody talking we were the tightest back in the day and gos on and on about the good old days. I hate them emotional fuccers. (Norm & Dan)
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #8 |
What about the fag that brings his girl along to the party and expects no one to stare or get at her.
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #9 |
When Tetas enters parties everyone hands him cup after cup and waits impatiently to bust out the sharpies for a spontaneous art session using his face as the canvas
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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Reply with quote | #10 |
oh.and the nigga that never leaves
i dunno if yall ever had one of those but its sort of like 'the guy on the couch' on halfbaked
he camne to our party and slept on the couch for 3 weeks after
no one even gave a fucc, it was just weird he never got up and left when the party was over
we called him C-TOSE
short of comatose...nigga damn near slept for a month ole rip van winkle ass nigga
id just come home from work see him on the couch and be like C-TOOOOOSSSEE!!!!
oh..and underage girls stumbling into a house party w no id...party ruiner...wait till her dad finds out
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STFU
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Registered: Aug 18, 2008
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Kurupt4
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Registered: March 31, 2006
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Reply with quote | #12 |
Quote: Originally Posted by STFU
Your trying to hard little buddy. Just stop already.
hahahahahaha CLASSIC !
but true
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KNOKONMYKOK
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Registered: Oct 13, 2008
Posts: 349
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| June 18, 2009 at 05:39 PM |
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Reply with quote | #13 |
shhut da fucc up STFU ur nothing but a bi@tchhhhhhhhhhh.....real southsiders dont have mo hawks so quit embarassing us true mufuccing g's hommie i did my time i was vacaville 2 years check da record books mufucca so dont wear that shirt no more u lameeee ....life is not a movie its da real deal
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Co-ed softball RF and Catcher.
TEAM D.A.B (Dirty ass bats) "I dont know what that means i just joined cause they seemed cool until i got cut." |
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